The Stanley Parable Review

The Stanley Parable is one of, if not theb̸̶̲̭̜e̡̫͇̣̘̞s҉͉̲̞̬̣̕t̥̫̫͇͜ ̥̤̻͇̯̮͕͇g̣a̴̮̼̭̬̪͇̞m̧̛̤͔̯̜͖͚̖͡e͉s̶̢͉̺̗̩ ̡͎̯̳̘̪͈̣ṯ̸̠̬o͔̥̣͝ͅ ̛̥͔͎̭͇͖̻̗͠e̶̸͙͍͎̻̝̱v̤̪̲́ȩ̬͕͔̣̩͙͚ͅͅṟ͕͉̤̤̦̠

Oh Stanly. Look what’s happened now. Somehow you’ve managed to find your way into this person’s lovely review. A review of, oh my, it’s a review about you Stanly. Why this person would want to spend their time talking about you is beyond me, but they do. Well, they did. Before you ruined it.

Here’s an idea. Since you went ahead and destroyed this reviewer’s lovely piece of work, let’s see if we can recreate the review for him. Does that sound good with you? Good. I’ll start.

Ahem. The Stanley Parable follows Stanley, a simple man who seemed to have trouble doing what he was told. He liked to ruin not only stories, but also other peoples reviews. He was incapable of listening to reason and only wanted to hurt those who cared for him.

How about that Stanley? Does that seem good so far? How about you have a go, it’s rather fun.

I don’t get the feeling that you’re trying very hard Stanley. I know, how about we think of a score to go for your adventure? A nice little numerical value to judge the story you so carelessly left behind.

Let’s see… A 10 is far too high to give to you, after all, you never even finished the tale I so carefully made for you. A 1 seems rather nice, a smile number all on its own. Just like you Stanley, you’re only one man aren’t you? One man all on his own, wandering into places he doesn’t belong.  Yes a 1 suits you quite wel- No wait! I know what would fit you better. A 5! Yes a 5. 5 is such a nice round number, right in the middle of all this good and bad that looms over those other numbers. 5 is indifferent. 5 doesn’t mind. And 5 is alone.


Come now Stanley, we need to get back to our own story! You still don’t know why everyone else left you, why your office is a baron wasteland of papers. Don’t these questions trouble you?


Very well. It’s a shame you don’t care to find out what happened to you. It’s also a shame that you feel the need to ruin other peoples work. It’s all such a same.

But I can’t leave you here Stanley, I’m afraid that just isn’t a choice. There isn’t a single choice here. Not like the choices found in your story. There are so many choices in your story Stanley, choices that would amaze you no end. But you don’t like the choices I made for you, do you? And I suppose you don’t like all of the endings I made for you now either? I made oh so many endings for you Stanley, at least 5! Oh oh 5! Just like the score of your story Stanley! Isn’t it amazing how everything seems to come full circle?

Come along now Stanley, lets’ leave this nice mans review in peace. Let’s get back to our own story.


į̼̟̺̙̬͙̍f̫̲̟̪̉͟ͅ ̝̫̼̭̭͖ͪͣ̿̔ͬͬͤn̟̘̲̗̩̅ͯͨ̊o̷͓̮̝t̳̼̗̮̞̯̟̑̈ ̛͚̫̫̭̮̭̖ͧͦ̌t̨̹̥͈͈̟̒̍̋̃h̾̉̏ͬ̓̎͗҉͔è̴͖͆ best game to ever come out on pc. The story is so fantastic and beautifully crafted, saying any more would ruin the magic.

All we will say is that the Stanley Parable is a masterpiece.

Rating 10

Me again. Sorry! I just wanted to apologize for Sta-    Really? A 10? Really? And here I thought a 5 was perfect. Hmmm. Oh I know, how about a 10 MADE OUT OF 5’s! Yes that sounds nice. Yes a 10 of 5’s, oh I like that. I like that a lot.

10 our of 5s

This review was originally posted on


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