Divinity Original Sin: Tis a Silly Place

When I first launched Divinity Original Sin I was expecting a hardcore high fantastic epic with serious political undertones and monster slaying. What I got was a Dungeons and Dragons game that plays as if it were created by Monty Python, and I love it.

This game is humongous. Even with my many hours put in, trying to review the game would be nearly impossible. Instead I want to highlight the strange and silly things in Divinity that made me love it so much.

First of all…

You can be Bob Ross

The character creator is fairly expansive when it comes to editing your stats and class, however it seems rather restricted with its facial editing. There are only a handful of faces and haircuts for both male and female characters, but that doesn’t stop you from having fun.

Within a few clicks my male character was a barbarian Bob Ross, who decided he would paint the world anew with the blood of his enemies. Running around and slaying monsters with the prince of paint brought me hours of entertainment, and watching him be a smooth talker with the ladies was even more hilarious. I was having fun before the game even begun.

 

You can talk to clams

One of the first missions you can come across is given by a rather unlikely quest giver, a talking clam. While exploring the beach you can hear a faint calling. Following this voice brings you to a clam who proudly pronounces himself to be the “King of the sea!” (Whether he is actually the king is left to your imagination). The king will ask you to throw him back into his domain so he can reunite with his people.

You now have the choice to kick the clam back into the sea as he wishes, or demand payment from him before you set him free. Either one of these dialogue choices leads to a hefty amount of witty dialogue between the player character and the clam, and by the end of the quest you’re left standing there wondering what in the world just happened.  This is a feeling you get a lot from Original Sin.

Statues lie to you

Early on in the game you’ll find a dead body clutching a journal. Reading said journal will reveal final words of a man who was told he was given the power of flight by four talking statues. This of course turned out to be a rather nasty lie, with the body being proof. What ensues is a quest to discover why these statues are telling such false truths and stop them from causing any more untimely deaths.

The quest seems rather basic at first, but things quickly get weirder as you venture into a cave. It won’t be long until you need to fend off against robots and crazed wizards. It’s a silly quest but only adds to the madness that lurks inside this game.

Wells have siblings

Walking around one of the towns in the game, you’ll come across a well called Wally. Wally the well has lost his brother and needs your help to find him. If you agree to help Wally he whisks you off to a frozen tundra where he says his brother has been trapped by an evil witch. From there the quest involves a wide range of puzzles and fights that test the players’ ability to micromanage their party, and proves to be quite the challenging affair.

All of this over a talking well…

Wizards pretend to be cats

There is a cat who bumbles about one of the taverns in the game, jumping on tables and meowing at passersby, the usual cat thing. But talking to the cat with the ability to talk to animals reveals the cats hidden secret. The cat is actually a wizard.

It turns out that the local wizard had gotten board of being locked inside his study making potions all day that he decided he would change his way of living. Whenever he wants to get some fresh air he simply transforms into a feline and wonders about town. What his real intentions of being a cat are remain a mystery to me (maybe he gets a kick out of looking up women’s skirts and being stroked), but the very idea of wizards having a possible animal fetish just shows how creative the game can be.

You might be Dr Who

During a murder mystery case, you can accidentally touch a strange stone on the floor. Doing so zaps you to the edge of time where a goblin and a woman known as “The Time Weaver” await your arrival. Visiting this place also rewards you with a rune that allows teleportation to areas already visited.

While the location and characters are already bonkers, giving the player the ability to quick travel through time and space can only mean one thing, you just may be the Doctor.

You can kill yourself trying to open a door

It was late on a Sunday night. I was attempting to find a way inside a woman’s house that I had suspected of killing her husband. You would assume that going through the front door would be the best option in this situation, but that’s exactly what she wanted me to think. I was positive she killed him and I was going to find the evidence to prove it, even if I had to tare that cottage to pieces.

I tried my luck with the back door but to no avail, she had locked it with some sort of locking device. My only choice was to break the door down when no one was looking. I began to hit the door with my sword, but it wasn’t long before the impenetrable wooden door had shattered my sword to pieces. All I had left were my fists, so I began whaling at the door with all my might, its health bar slowly chipping down as it collided with my punch.

Minutes, hours, maybe even days passed, and I was growing weak. I worked up one final punch and slammed my swollen fist into the wooden framework. My body halted, it ceased to respond to my orders. I dropped to the floor, my eyes struggling to remain open, the blood gushing from my hands growing lighter. I chuckled, and with a sigh, I closed my eyes and embraced the fearful event that was to come.

I died.

The door remained intact.

Use your words

Sometimes you’ll find that violence is not always the answer, and words become your strongest weapon. You can talk to almost everyone in the game, and you can always choose what to say to them to warrant a different type of response. These choices also shape your characters.

Do you want one of your heroes to be a smartarse while the other is an apologetic wreck? Or do you want a smooth talker who gets stuck working with a gruff, aggressive, simple minded mongrel? The choice is up to you. You forge these characters through dialogue between other characters and even between the two heroes.

You can create the relationship between your heroes through dialogue between the two. My Mary-Jane was in love with Bob Ross, but he was already married to art, and so their relationship involved MJ trying to jeopardize Bob’s chances of painting his next masterpiece.

You decide how your characters behave, and through that you can make some fantastic stories.

Don’t like what people say? Just punch them

Sometimes you’ll find that violence is always the answer, and words become your weakest weapon. Some people just don’t know how to take a hint and will harass you nonstop. At some point, you just have to let off a little steam, and so taking out your weapon of choice and piercing it through an annoying ruffian at the tavern is the only way to go.

You can start a fight with literally anyone and anything in Original Sin. At one point early on I was harassed by two guards who demanded payment for me to get over a bridge. Bob Ross saw this as an infringement of his rights as a culture specialist, and proceeded to colour the bridge with their dripping blood.

Since no one was around to see this ordeal, a rumor began to spread that someone had killed the guards outside, and it wasn’t long before Bob’s anonymous work of art had become a well known event that took place in town, and I was happy to lean back and say “Bob did that. Bob, with his delusion of being in a world of paint, killed two men and made a name for himself. Well done Bob.”

Those were a few short stories of events that transpired in the wondrous game of Divinity Original Sin. I hope that my strange adventures have at least peaked your interest of this whacky and bombastic role playing game. While the game itself is hard as nails, exploring the world itself is well worth the time and effort.  If you’re looking for a good game to lose yourself in over the summer, look no further than Divinity Original Sin.

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